Tips For Creating Your Wedding Guest List
Photo by Lovestruck Pictures
Let’s face it there are fun things to plan when it comes to your wedding and there are a few tasks that just aren’t as fun. I know for most of my couples at the top of that list are planning out their guest lists. Since this can be such a daunting task I thought I would give you a few tips and things to consider, to make it a bit easier when it comes to tackling your guest list.
How many people Do You Want To Invite?
This is probably the single most important factor when planning your guest list. Before you start searching for venues for your wedding, you will want to get a better idea of this number first. So, sit down with your partner and write up an inital list of all the people you want to invite to be a part of your special day. Once you know that number, you will be able to start looking at venue options that can accommodate your guest count in the area you are planning to get married in.
Once you are able to start looking at different venues and catering costs, you will get a better idea of what your per person cost will look like. Your food and beverage costs will be the bulk of your budget and is based on your guest count. So, the more guests you invite, the higher the cost. This will give you a better understanding on some of the main costs for your wedding and will help you determine if you need to cut your guest list down a bit more to better accommodate your budget needs.
Set some ground rules for inviting people
Why would you need ground rules? Well, because just writing names down of people you know can pack your list very quickly. Talk over some non-negotiable guests that mean the most to you. This doesn’t mean let’s get the whole high school reunion together, or the entire neighborhood. Create some simple rules to help weed the unnecessary invites out at the very beginning.
Haven’t spoken in X amount of years.
No children under 12 allowed - or whatever age works for your wedding plans
Never met before
Parents of the Bride/ Groom have a certain amount they can invite if helping pay for the wedding (keep this limited or your guest list can very easily get way out of control)
These are simple examples of some ground rules that can be put in place to help you keep your list under control while writing it.
Make an A, B & C List
Creating lists of A - absolutely must be invited, B - would like them there but only if the budget and space allow, and C - invite only if you need to feel more seats, will help you narrow down your guest list as well. So, for example, you can add people like your immediate family members, grandparents, close aunts/uncles/cousins and all your closest friends to list A. Then on list B, add people like your extended aunts/uncles/cousins, some co-workers, etc. On list C, add people like additional co-workers, neighors, your parents friends, etc. Whatever this might look like for you. Focus on the number on list A first. If you decide you would like to expand your budget or invite additional guests, then take a look at adding list A & B together, and so on.
Remember that when inviting people to your wedding not everyone is going to be able to make it. Allow for about a 15% to 30% rejection and just know that is completely normal. It could be a popular wedding weekend or they have already accepted another invite. With that being said, always have at least a B list - basically your backup list. This way when you receive a decline on your A list, you can automatically send out another invite to someone on the B list. Now, just a little reminder they don’t need to know that they are on the B list. You aren’t looking to hurt feelings with this so keep it as a list that is just for you and your partner to keep between the two of you. Creating lists like this are not meant to hurt feelings or cause riffs between loved ones but can simply help you plan out and stick to your wedding needs and your budget better.
Photo by Lovestruck Pictures
Dont forget Etiquette
If you have invited anyone to your engagement party or wedding shower they should also be invited to your wedding. They have already established investment in your big day and it would be rude to not include them at the wedding. So, with this being said, keep that in mind when you are planning the prequel parties as well. Make sure you create the intial guest list before inviting anyone to any of the celebrations and festivities. That way, if you are thinking about inviting someone you may not want on the actual wedding guest list, you don’t want to invite them to the other festivities either. It’s a good rule of thumb to keep in your back pocket to keep proper etiquette in mind.
You Can’t Nor Do You Need To Invite Everyone
You may get some people in your life that will ask about your wedding, on the regularly and even ask whether they are being invited or not. Just because they are asking about your wedding does mean that you are obligated to invite them. It can be hard sometimes to tell people that they aren’t invited to your big day but, you can have a planned-out response of what to say so you don’t feel so bad about not inviting them. Stick to the choices you made, the numbers you need to stick to for space and budget and remember you simply just cannot invite everyone. And, it is ok to politely let someone know that you can’t invite everyone. You can say something like:
"Unfortunately, the venue doesn’t have enough space for more guests than we have already committed to. We wish we could invite everyone we know but there just isn’t that kind of space.”
Or even something like:
“We are keeping things small and intimate so we are only inviting a limited amount of people to our wedding.”
Just remember this day is about you two and the celebration of your love. If you could/wanted to have absolutely everyone there you would but you planned your dream wedding and there are realistic limitations on things like space and budget. Be confident in your decisions and stick to your guns. At the end of the day, when you look out over the crowd of people who are celebrating with you, it should be a room full of people who make you both smile and feel loved.
Photo by Lovestruck Pictures
Happy Planning <3
Naticia
