Should You Invite Kiddos To Your Wedding Or Not?
This is a tricky one and can be an extremely hard decision to make if you and your fiancé have a lot of kids in your life. There are ways to handle this decision without hurting feelings, and the decision is truly what works best for you and your significant other. In this blog we will discuss the benefits of both sides of this decision and how to best handle this delicate topic with friends and family.
Should Kids be invited?
This decision is one that you and your fiancé will need to talk through together and the answer differs from couple to couple. If you have friends and family whose children you are very close with and you would really like to have these children be a part of your big day, then the answer is likely yes. More children at your wedding does mean higher guest count which can effect your food costs so, you can choose to only have kids at the wedding if they are a part of the wedding party (such as Flower Girls/Boys or Ring Bearers or Junior Bridesmaids/Groomsmen) or if they are children of immediate family members. If you are looking to create a more adult oriented event or allow the parents of children in your life to have a day off at your wedding, then maybe the answer to this question is no. It can be hard for parents of young children to be able to fully focus and enjoy your wedding day when they need to play mom or dad. So, if you are looking to have your loved ones be able to be fully present and enjoy the day with you, it might be a good idea to ask them to leave the kiddos at home.
Benefits of making it an adult-only wedding
First and foremost this does keep the costs down on your wedding guest count. If your wedding is at a smaller venue it can be hard to choose who to invite and who to cut. But, cutting kids out can help keep the guest count lower. Also, a lot of couples like to attend weddings without their kiddos. It is a date night out and they get to enjoy each other while celebrating you. They can let loose a bit more and relax and enjoy the moments with you without having to chase their kiddos around all evening.
Now, let’s not forget that age of the kiddos is a big factor here as well. While it is the most adorable thing to see a few two-year-old’s holding signs down the aisle, your big day is a BIG day for them as well. That means it can be very hard for little ones to make it through the full day without naps and lots of bribery. Lack of sleep, limited breaks and lots of distractions can dramatically effect a little ones mood and can often lead to cranky and tired kiddos. That can become extremely difficult for the parents of those children and for you on your wedding day. Sometimes the best way to handle this can be to have the kiddos be a part of the Ceremony but ask that the Reception be adults only so that the kids can go home, with a designated babysitter, and get some rest while the parents get a break.
Breaking the news the right way
Just like everything else in planning a wedding, there is also etiquette to telling people that their kids aren’t invited to the wedding. The best way to share this information is to put it on your invitation. This way the information it is clearly written and provided directly to the guests. It’s best to include it on your invitations as well as in the FAQ section on your wedding website as this will certainly be a frequently asked question by your guests.
This can be a very delicate topic and you want to make sure you address it politely and respectfully with your guests. Below are some gentle ways to break the news while keeping it classy.
“Although we love your children, this is an adult-only event.”
“Due to space limitations, we’re celebrating with adults only.”
“Due to space limitations, only children of the immediate families are invited.” (if only certain kids are invited)
“In order to allow all guests, including parents, a night of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding to be an adult-only occasion. We can’t wait to celebrate with you!”
“To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children.”
“To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen to make our special day adults only. We thank you for your understanding.”
While most guests will be understanding and comfortable with this choice you may still get a little pushback from some of your guests. If this is the case, my advice to you is to kindly explain your reasoning for your decision and stick with it. This is your wedding after all and that means that it is your choice to make. This is your big day and it’s okay to say no. If you provide your guests with this information when you send out your invitations, they will have plenty of time to make any necessary arrangements for themselves and their little ones.
My hope is that this will help put you at ease when making your decision on whether or not to include children at your wedding. Usually, this only becomes a hard choice because of fear/concern of hurt feelings but, just know that because you chose one way or another this doesn’t reflect on how you feel about your guest’s children. It just simply is YOUR day and it’s ok to have it your way!
Happy Planning <3
Naticia
